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Drop Us a LineCelebrating Small Victories, Our Father’s Legacy to Us!
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Last Saturday, my son Khalil joined his first Milo Chess Tournament in Cebu City, and his first as a member of the Don Bosco High School chess varsity team. The opening day wasn’t a good timing since we had chores to run on that sunny morning. We were so excited in dropping him off at ACT campus. The only thing we could do to cheer him up was a firm handshake and a commanding “good luck”, pretending that it could compensate for our absence!.
Even as we drove around the city our minds were locked to Khalil and his games. The excitement of the tournament and the guilt of our absence were unbearable. I told myself, “if only my father is here today, for sure he would never miss standing by with Khalil cheering him up win or loss.”
It was already 2pm when we arrived at the tournament venue. We were greeted with chaos, but a beautiful one for stage parents like us. Hundreds of children were scattered on the floor so focused on their chess boards playing with their mates while waiting for their turn of the tournament. At the far end of the hall were several lines of tables with rows of chess pieces and boards while the contending players lined up on opposite sides of the table so focused of what they were doing. Most of the players were uneasy doodling with their fingers or their feet to cope with the intense pressure. They came in different packages: Boys, girls, short, tall, big, small, stout, skinny, dark, fair, etcetera, etcetera. I saw Chinese and Korean kids playing while their relatives were noisy chatting at the side. Most of them wearing glasses. I recognized an Ouano watching at one side, and the son-in-law of the rich Cebuano Chinese family J King was also there cheering for his daughters playing for Sacred Heart - Jesuits.
I saw my Khalil leaning on one of the huge column of the building with no trace of happiness and excitement on his face. Nada! Had he won his game, he could have been jumping up and down by then. His body language simply told us otherwise. When he turned his head towards our direction he quickly approached us and did the usual “mano po” with a poker face.
“How’s your game?’, ” Did you win?”, in chorus we asked him.
A flat “Yes” was his only answer with his lips stretched and extended towards his ears resembling a smile exposing his dimples.
“Congratulations! Why the face? You’re suppose to be happy and be celebrating your victory!”, I told him.
“No, It’s two early to tell. This is a seven round tournament,” he insisted. Even before I could say a word he already headed back to where his teammates were standing-by.
I knew something is wrong there. We were raised to celebrate small victories, and my son did not understand it. I recall as a pupil in school that even getting 100 in a writing exercise or in a simple grader quiz was enough reason to celebrate. Even winning a round of child’s play ( be it siatong, joulens, chinese garter, luksong tinik, bitok-bitok, lastiko, siokuk, dakpanay, antolihaw, etc.) would be enough reason to jump for joy showing everyone how proud we were of our little victory. Well, that’s what we were, and that’s what we’ll always be. My son is just different, or maybe it’s on me why he’s like that.
Celebrating small victories is a trait I owe to our father. His positive energy and nurturing gestures rubbbed on me since childhood and stays with me until now. I learned from him that winning is not everything, but is something that comes in between plays. And that losing a game is not a loss at all.
Ironically, when Khalil experienced his first loss in the afternoon, he’s so down that he annoyingly kept on repeating his blunder over and over and over until we reached home. He could not get over it until the second day of the tournament where he won all his games.
“Pwede ta mo agi sa simbahan Tay, kay modagkot ko ug kandila!”, was his last request when we drove home on that Sunday night.
Khalil is obviously up to a bigger win..a bigger future and small victories dont humour him that much, but Im sure deep inside him he feels contented..di lang sya showy siguro hehehe
Unlike us before, mabaw ra kaayo ta ug kalipay ug di kaayo dako atong panan-aw sa kinabuhi…malipay na gani kaayo ko kaniadto nga makailog sa mangang hinog nga nahug hahahahaha
COngrats dong kahlil…inum unya ta inig uli nako..icelebrate nato imong victory hahaha
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Moy, what I learned in the very short period I got hooked with Ahedres is:
Winning is not everything. It is the only thing. Khalil’s reaction to early (I would not call it small) victory depicts an inner fear he might not win them all. The guy’s got the frame of mind…..wow….
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Mao ba? that’s a very capitalist frame of mind. that’s the reason why they have very high incedence of suicide. so scary if it robs to athletes psyche’. sports should be, win or lose, fun!
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Moy, I kind of miss Papa reading this. Though i wasn’t really a big fan but I think I finally get him. Going through things as an adult, I can now relate to what Papa went through in life. And I agree, he would be there to cheer up Khalil win or lose. And he would know how to cheer him up even more if he lost.
Khalil maybe be different… but he is in the right frame of mind. He’s got a high expectation of himself. A trait found for great leaders. We will never excel and attain greatness because we are mediocre. We like to have fun. There is nothing wrong with that. And Khalil is on for something. He is never satisfied so he will do his best to get whatever it is. Our job as parents… support our kids. And let them know that we will always be there for them… win or loose. Just like Papa was.
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if you look back papa’s childhood i could say that he’s able to pay his adulthood’s shortcomings forward. he’s the son every parent dreamed to have. he’s the envy of every parent in his time.
in his childhood up to his teens he’s a home body, helped his parents at home and in their small business, protected his brothers from his parent’s spanish style parenting approach, and never hesitated to extend a helping hand to friends and relatives in need even if he deprived himself and his family doing it. in basketball, he could be the Michael Jordan who knows where to place himself get the ball and put the ball into the basket despite the physical harm he has to hurdle along the way.
his faith never wavered even in the lowest moment of his life, even when his friends he helped abandoned him when he needed them most.
sentimentala sad ani uy!
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One time, nag storia mi ni papa, unya ako siyang gipangutana ngano nga favorite siya ni lolo ug lola? Tubag niya, kay buotan kuno siya nga anak, hehe, hinuon mao man sad na ingon ni lola kaniadto .. si papa dali niya masugo .. pero, akoa gi komedyahan si papa nga dunay pagka spoiled siya kay ug di hatagan ug allowance, moadto siya sa bukid ug mamaligya ug baka ni lolo aron duna siya ika hapi hapi uban sa mga barkada! Si lola Ute(1st degree cousin ni lolo ikot ug naminyo sa usa ka cabaron, nga ig-agaw sad ni lola); had so much fun memories of papa .. kay pinangga sad niya si papa .. tupad ug tindahan sila ni lola iyang sa mercado .. usa namatay ang tigulang akoa gidala si papa didto ilang balay sa basak .. perteng lipaya tawon .. Ingon lagi niya: si papa ug iyang mga barkada, labi si nong imok, inig uli gikan ciudad, mosakay jud sa top load sa bus nga pagadryban ni lolo ikot .. unya kay magpapalit man siya ug ilimonon kang lolo para ibaligya sa tindahan, mahurot kuno na ug inom nilang papa samtang gabyahe .. mao nga si lolo ikot mao sad mobayad sa tanang nahurot nila nga botelya .. haha .. it is in the genes!
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perte man tawon ning pagsetimental ni inyong topic diri..makahilak man pud ta ani ug luha nga tibugol bwahahahahahahhaha
Kudos to our family!!!!
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